Welcome to Free Soup With Purchase’s first installment of what is soon to be a wildly popular segment, Believe It or Don’t! I’m pretty sure I ripped off the name from a Jim Davis Garfield book. Not the title of one of the collections, but it was the title of a segment for some strips or some bit in a treasury book. Without Googling it, or really caring either way, I’m going to confidently say that’s exactly where I got it from. And it’s highly probable that the genius who is Jim Davis was not the first person to ever use that particular turn of phrase.
ANYWAY, this segment will deal with some seemingly startling supposed fact, and you, humble reader, can do what you wish with that information! Okay, ladies and gentleman, here it is:
I plucked at least 25 nose hairs today while watching a Star Trek episode… using only my hands.
BELIEVE IT, OR DON’T!!!!!!!
(And you don’t have to go and Google the phrase and then tell me where it was used. No one likes a little bitch.)
Free Soup With Purchase 
Yeah, you were right. This blogging thing seems pretty fucking tough.
Would you believe it took me 16 hours to even put that together?! The struggles never cease…!
I don’t believe it. I always count the exact number of nose hairs so I can update my life-time tally. I’m expecting to reach one million before I’m…well, dead.
I’m glad to see you’ve resorted to ripping off Garfield. Your life has basically come full circle. My plan now, of course, is to repost this post of yours in its entirety, change the name to Believe it or Don’t, F*cker! and then apologize for ripping you off. I need more content.
Dude, I’m torn. I’ve had 22 in one episode, but it was a “To Be Continued” dual feature (“Encounter at Farpoint” – Star Trek: The Next Generation, Pilot).
Wait, was that a serious question?
Hmm, I feel slightly exposed here…
Concerning your admission, I will say that either I do believe it, or don’t!
Yeah, but see this is verifiable. I mean. I can believe it, if I see the nose hairs and count them for myself. So, really, why leave this up to blind faith.
Now, for your next installment, I think you should do:
The existence of God. Believe it or don’t.
Then pop some popcorn, sit back and enjoy the show.