You Think ‘Retard’ Jokes Are Funny, Do You?

Whoa, James. I thought I knew you better than that. And Don, I’m really surprised you even laughed. I didn’t realize how comfortable you both were with me that you think that type of behavior is appropriate. Did you really think I’d find that joke funny? And boy, some joke.

I often said there is no line a joke can’t cross, but really, James, that was below being no-class. I thought you were someone who understood where the differences are. And Don, I didn’t realize how insensitive you could be. Christ, I’m standing right here, guys!

Have you just been careful not to make these jokes when I’m not around? Did you simply slip up now and let one fly? I guess I can’t blame you; I used to laugh at insensitive things like that. I suppose one could find humor in everyone winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics, or some such crudity. But, really, guys, I didn’t think you’d be that type.

It’s just very surprising to discover this part of you. I think see you both a little differently now. Finally discovering where your values really are is pretty illuminating.

You think ‘retard’ jokes are funny, do you? Geez, guys, how can you? You know my father was killed by a pack of wild retards in the 80s.

I’m out of here. Get cancer, fellas.

That didn’t sound very racist in my head

Oh God.

Wait, no, that’s not what I meant. No, no, seriously!!! You knew what I meant, right? I’m not a — Shit!!!

Really, I’m not! I was just trying to say  — well, I’m not sure, exactly. I’m sure I had a really good point.

But that didn’t sound very racist in my head.

Did Steve hear me? Oh god, I don’t think he did. Did he? Seriously? He did, didn’t he? Shit, go check if he heard me.

God, I’m an idiot. I don’t think I’ve ever said something like that before, ever. Why would I do that? Now I look like a huge bigot slash racist slash douchebag. And I’m not!! Why??? Why would I say that?

I’m going to straight to hell, that’s it. Going straight. To. Hell.

I thought it was going to be a witty and subversive commentary on society, but it just looks like I’m full of hate.

Oh GOD! What?? What did my smile look like?? Oh Jesus, are you kidding? Tell me you’re kidding. My big shit-eating grin along with my little Nazi hate mongering. That’s exactly what everyone wants to see! Great. Just… great!

I don’t think Steve heard me. It’s fine. No, it’s seriously fine.

You knew that was a joke, though, right? Like, not even a real joke, but like parody of people who talk like that…?? Right? Tell me you knew that!!


I just have to keep my mouth shut from now on. Just stop talking and I will stop doing stupid things like this. Unbelieveable.

Steve’s cool, though. He’d know that was a joke. Right? He’s cool, he would get it. Yeah, he’s cool….